Uncurl your lip, unroll your eyes, wipe that confused and/ or disgusted look from your face. Yeah, I tried the mooncup, and I’m never using tampons again.
So, we’ve all heard of the menstrual cup by now, although admittedly it’s taken me this long to get over my-self and give it a go. The idea of it sounds gross, unsettling and downright strange, I know. But what lead me to take the plunge was a mixture of curiosity, financial motivation (fuck your tampon tax, old male MPs!) and environmental awareness (they are reusable until they literally biodegrade, and with being silicone, that’s like, years). Also that time my loo got blocked, plumber was called, unclogged a year’s worth of tampons blocking my pipes... but let's not get into that.
What exactly is it? And hoooow?
How does it stay up? (Suction) Can you feel it? (No) Where do you get them from? (Mooncup.com, chemists) What if it all tips out? (Nope, you can even go swimming- just like tampons yay!)
The Mooncup is a small reusable silicone cup which you stick in your vagina to collect your crimson river every month. A lot of girls are giving it a whirl nowadays because lets be honest.. tampons suck sometimes. There's the tampon tax, dryness, expense, different packs for different days of the flow, soaking up your other healthy natural juices, being made of chemically treated cotton, TSS.... etc.
The menstrual cup has actually been around since the 1930s, so they’re tried and tested, and give you an opportunity to more intimately experience your period (haha, gross).
To insert the mooncup you have to fold it so that it’s small when it goes in, but can pop open once it’s in its proper place. Then, once it’s in there it makes a seal around the vagina wall and becomes leak free and you can forget about for the next 8 hours. Once full, you have to tip them out, clean the cup and reinsert which saves all those tampons being thrown into land fill sites and all those sanitary pads floating around the Atlantic Ocean strangling all the krill and whatnot.
However, this whole process is contingent on being able to insert the damn thing in the first place. The trick here ladies, is to persevere. After a few failed attempts I got quite frustrated, and had a sort of feral, wild look in my eyes, and realised my jaw was so clenched that my face hurt. After a while I got much better, though
it did take a lot of practice, and red wine. Also, I found that it’s a very good opportunity to get to know your vagina better. Even if you didn’t really feel you needed to in the first place, you will know the ins and outs (haha) by the end of this... experience.
So, my life has essentially changed for the better. The mooncup is about 25 quid, so well worth it in the long run. The extra cash is literally burning holes in my pockets, I wonder what to spend it on? Oh yeah, my pizza/ Uber addiction. I’m following in the footsteps of the environmentally aware, and I actually feel proud of doing my bit.