Get freaky between the sheets this Halloween
The nights have drawn in, the ice-cold wind has started to send chills down your spine… it’s that time of the year again, it’s Halloween. There are two types of people at Halloween. Of course we mean the people who avoid the doorbell like an ex at a house party (totes us) and the people who have eagerly stock piled Haribo (perhaps intentionally) for this year’s trick or treaters. Either way, whether you’ve planned a cosy night in watching Hocus Pocus or you’re out on the town, you may find yourself tucking into a treat too many.
Instead of a 6am HIIT class to burn off the extra Reese’s Pieces you unintentionally ate whilst binge watching the Addams Family, why not use Halloween as an excuse to get freaky between the sheets and burn off the extra cals like an adult? Who said Halloween is just for kids? If the costumes and role playing aren’t enough to give you the Halloween horn this weekend, here are some spooky positions that will get your blood moving and send those extra calories to the grave.
A.K.A. Modified Missionary
The Tangled Spider (a.k.a. modified missionary) will add some pumpkin spice to what is often considered a ‘vanilla’ position.
Start in missionary and from here bend your knees and raise your hips so that your pelvis is lifted. It acts as a great ab workout as it requires core stability and it creates more contact between his pelvis and yours (hello clit stimulation). Put the treat in ‘trick or treat’ by adding in some extra hip thrusts and cast a spell on him by looking deep into his eyes as you thrust.
Calories burned: A woman burns 44 calories during normal missionary but between 60-150 during the Tangled Spider as you’re engaging your core as you thrust. (That’s a packet of Reese’s Pieces).
A.K.A. Modified Doggy Style
Release your inner demon and do it Zombie Style (a.k.a. modified doggie).
Try this bewitched version of the nation’s favourite rear-entry sex position by leaning forward so that you’re lying down rather than being on all fours – you may need to spread your legs a bit more to accommodate your partner. His penis will be tilted slightly downwards and will rub against the G-spot as a result sending shivers down your spine sure to make you shriek.
Calories burned: A woman burns 98 calories doin’ it Zombie Style but if you want to burn more try backing it up into your partner or speeding up for some extra exertion (FYI 98 calories = a fun-size mars bar)
A.K.A. MODIFIED COW GIRL
Give him the shivers and take control with The Ghost Rider.
Start in normal cowgirl but instead of resting on your knees, switch to your feet so that you’re essentially deep squatting on his broomstick. This position is spook-tacular for taking control of the pace and rhythm and the depth will send chills down your spine. Spell out ‘BOO’ with your hips for some added hocus pocus.
Calories burned: A woman burns 120 calories during The Ghost Rider (so you can add two fun sized Kit-Kats into the trick or treat bag).
A.K.A Sex Standing Up
Turn into a freak when the clock strikes midnight and have sex standing up – or as we call it: The Bone Shaker.
Get your partner to stand up and lift you up as you wrap your legs around his hips and waist. Cast a sexual spell on him by not breaking eye contact and sucking on his neck. You can burn extra calories (and help take some of the pressure off your partner) by pulling your body weight up and down. Or make it easier by Bone Shakin’ against a wall. Trust us – it’s scarily good.
Calories burned: A woman burns 200 calories while Bone Shakin’. (Helloooo Toffee Apple!).
If your flesh isn’t tingling by now just think about all the things you could do with that left over chocolate. If you feel you’ve over indulged, forget your spin class and get devilish in the bedroom instead, your neighbours will just think the moans and screams are your movie night surround sound. What are you waiting for, do it by candle light and scare him stiff with our spook-tacular positions. Bonus point if you do it in costume.
