Ok we all know that phrase is completed by Sir? Men used to be offered condoms by the barber after a trim and shave to set them up for the weekend. Now we can get them anywhere but is there still a lil stigma around the idea of buying and using condoms? Especially for women.
My experience with condoms has been a mixture of blushes, the occasional stand off and a few snorts and laughs but omg some very hot moments too.
The fact is if you want to have sex without the risk of pregnancy and or contracting an STD, but you don’t want to take a pill or use a coil or generally change the hormonal balance of your body then condoms are your best bet.
Amanda Goetz recently tweeted, Women are fertile for approximately 24 days a year. Men are fertile 365 days a year. We are creating laws for the wrong group.
Whether or not her numbers are right on female fertility she makes an excellent point. And it made me think again about the choices we make for our bodies to resolve an issue that really exists only for a few days a year. Your choice of contraception is of course completely personal, but me, I’m a condom gal.
Effective for avoiding pregnancy, less and less of a problem for me as I’m over 45, but still a concern, and for protecting against STDs, condoms tick my middle aged lady box. For protection against HIV using a condom is 10,000 times safer than not using a condom*. The numbers for pregnancy are also very convincing, they are 98% to 99% successful in preventing pregnancy. Sounds good to me.
I am single, I like sex. I tend to bounce through love affairs with younger men and I like the fun, the variety.
I’m happy to be kept up all night by a hot 25 year old sporty type. I don’t want to be up all night three weeks later worrying I might have picked up something that will damage my health or that I could pass on. Waiting for results in sexual health clinics is not particularly fun. I’d far rather use a condom and not have to worry. I am a bit of a hypochondriac, a lot of a hypochondriac. I don’t need these worries in my life.
So how does it go down? I know it can be embarrassing buying condoms.
Establishing the rules of contact with new partners can be hard especially in the heat of the moment, we Brits seem to find it particularly awkward. Ever got to the point and he doesn’t have any on him? I always buy my own then they can’t spring that excuse on you. I can also be sure they feel good for me that way too. Condoms can be really very good or pretty awful.
So buy some, and my top tip for overcoming the cringe moment at the till, or in the queue is to tell myself this. If someone looks into my basket and sees them what are they going to think? She has sex. Yes I do, I’m guessing the person looking in the basket does too. In fact the person on the checkout had sex this week, most likely. So what’s the big deal we all have sex, its human, natural and I’m being safe, really, no big deal. Buy them, head high, yes people I have sex!
And how to handle the bedroom sitch? Fairly safe to assume if you are meeting to have sex, if you have been seeing someone for a while or this is just a hook up you will be already messaging. Deal with it here.
Meet you at 7.30 bring wine, chocolate and condoms.
There, it’s done. Not much more to discuss, I have my own in case but this way he knows what I expect. If I go out I take my own. When it gets really heated I usually say, I’m not on the pill, we need to use condoms. I say it this way so it’s not a conversation about STDs but just a fact. Don’t know many men that want to cause unwanted pregnancy when the choice is given. If they don’t want to put one on then it’s no go. It’s sex with condom or no sex. 100% success rate with that tactic.
Truth is sex has all kinds of weird and awkward moments woven in to the hot and steamy and omg-don’t-stop moments. This is just another part of it.
Seeing the guy has brought his own XL is always an internal high five moment, a decent guy will be right there with you and will either share your view or respect it.
Condoms can even be a very sexy part of the encounter. I had an incredible bedroom buddy for a couple of years. Stunning, tall, athletic guy, tattoos, perfect abs, the dream, when it came to the moment he would grab a condom take it out of the packet and blow hard into it to get the tip of the condom out. Ladies, looking at this god with the condom in his hands, beautiful face concentrated on getting this thing done so that he could have what he wanted. My goodness, hot. Too hot.
So yes if you ask me if I think condoms kill the moment, nope, not one jot. I like them it’s hot just seeing them in my bedside drawer. The promise of fun.
Yes I will take something for the weekend thank you!
Gimme a whole selection. - by Tuesday Jones.