YOU SHOULD GO AND LOVE YOURSELF
can use self-pleasure to improve your self-esteem, self-image and self-confidence
It’s a fact: getting fappy can make you happy! There are lots of physical and mental benefits
to masturbation: the feel-good chemicals that sensual pleasure and orgasm release into
your system can help to aid restful sleep, relieve stress, and even ease period pain. But it’s
also hands down (…your pants, obviously) one of the best ways to feel better about the skin
you’re in. Acknowledging the power your body has to make you feel fantastic can make it
easier to feel fantastic about your body.
My fave bath ‘n’ body biz Superdrug recently launched a campaign called “Masturbation is
Self-Celebration” to highlight the power of self-pleasure to improve your sense of self
worth, and I’m 100% on board with that jubilant sentiment. If I could throw a carnal carnival
in honour of solo sex, I would, complete with streamers, balloons and cuntfetti cannons!
However, according to a survey they ran as part of their research, whilst 29% of people have
found themselves buffin’ the muffin more frequently during lockdown as a form of
relaxation, escapism, and to give themselves a boost, 34% are masturbating less, with
factors such as anxiety, depression and tiredness caused by the added pressures of the
current pandemic all given as reasons why folks don’t so much fancy letting their fingers
frolic in their folds. It’s a situation I call a “Snatch 22”: masturbation can HELP with all these
issues, but the issues themselves ironically make you less tempted to masturbate.
So: here are a handful of exercises that use solo sex to help you become a better bud with
your bod – including some gentle suggestions to help you get back in touch with your sexual
side if your libido has been low lately, and to assist you in rediscovering all the uplifting
powers of solo sensuality.
START THE MAGIC WITH SOME FOCUS HOCUS POCUS
are often described as masturbating “furiously” (why so angry?!) or “vigorously”, but self-
love can be slow, laidback & gentle…and it doesn’t have to focus solely on the genitals. Try
beginning a session by using a fingertip to lightly trace the lines on the palm of your hand, as
though reading your fortune, then stroking the insides of your wrists, your collarbones, and
the super-soft skin around your earlobes. Pay attention to the subtle, tingly tickles.
Honing your ability to ‘tune in’ to even the most understated nice feelings like this is called
‘sensate focus’. It’s an exercise commonly recommended by sex therapists that helps you
enhance your sensitivity, and appreciate your whole body’s potential to feel delicious. You can practice noting and savouring delicate everyday pleasurable feelings when you’re not
masturbating, too, like how the droplets of water from your shower feel as they hit different
areas of your naked self, or how scrumptious your cup of morning coffee smells and tastes.
It’s all about finding what makes you feel luscious, however small, then leaning into it.
OIL BE THERE FOR YOU
Bliss Oil and spend a moment giving yourself a hand massage – there are lots of fab free
tutorials on YouTube (and it feels especially pampering if you’ve been working from home
typing all day). This helps you relax; gives you chance to start getting in the mood, and
maybe fantasising; and underlines the fact that you don’t have to make a beeline straight
for your bits! This is also extra helpful for anyone with any emotional blocks or trauma that
mean masturbation can feel intimidating, or is something they need to ease into carefully.
If you need some inspiration to help fuel your sexual fantasies and fire up your libido, try
experimenting with audio erotica, such as DipseaStories.com: a female-founded app that
lets you play saucy stories read aloud by actors. You can select from categories such as
“romantic”, “hot hookups” or “queer stories” depending on your tastes and sexuality. Listen
on noise-canceling headphones to really lose yourself in the tales (& prevent your fam or
your flatmates from overhearing!). Use the promo code ALIXFOX for a 30-day free trial
when you sign up for a year subscription; you can cancel worry-free any time if it’s not your
cup of tea.
TRY SOME SELF-REFLECTION
neck, your nipples, your nethers... Whatever feels right IS right. You do you – literally!
Consider touching yourself in front of a mirror: getting comfy with how you look while
you’re enjoying yourself creates positive connections in your mind between your
appearance and contentment. Becoming familiar with how your private parts look also
means you’re more likely to spot any changes that might indicate health issues, too –
getting to know your down-belows helps you monitor your wellbeing.
ALL FUR ONE AND ONE FUR ALL
intimate hair removal cream – in order to remove the silk proteins it used to contain,
meaning the whole range is now vegan, and you can look after the animals while you –
ahem – pet your kitty! Pubic hair removal is a personal choice: some people do it not just for
aesthetics, but because they find being bare down there enhances the intensity of how it
feels when they stroke themselves, so giving yourself a ‘smooth groove’ might be something
you wish to try out, just for you. If you’re prone to ingrowing hairs, Tame It! may well be a
better bet for experimenting than shaving or waxing.
BECOME A WRAP STAR
masturbation is the perfect opportunity to become a pro at putting them on; get used to
the sensation of wearing one so it doesn’t feel odd or distracting during partnered sex; and
work out what style and size suits you best. Got a peen, not a vageen? Practice putting
condoms on a rabbit-style vibrator or phallic dildo, so you’re less likely to fumble ‘n’ jumble
things when you’re in company. A Woowoo Protect It! Party pack is a great place to start, as
it contains three different types. Get condom confident.
For more on all things sexy & saucy and real talk about relationships, follow Alix on Insta